Lawyer Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Your Case Off

Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

Why did the lawyer sleep under the desk?
He wanted to lie low.

Why did the lawyer break up with his girlfriend?
He found her guilty of stealing his heart.

Why did the lawyer get kicked off the plane?
He kept objecting to the flight attendants.

What did the lawyer say to the clock?
I’ll bill you by the minute.

Why did the lawyer bring a camera to court?
To capture all the evidence.

Why was the lawyer so calm in court?
He had plenty of legal support.

Why do lawyers love coffee?
It helps them stay grounds for appeal.

Why did the lawyer eat his contract?
He wanted to digest the fine print.

Why was the lawyer always tired?
Too many briefs.

Why do lawyers love stairs?
They always take things to a higher level.

Why did the lawyer become a gardener?
He wanted to work on his roots of justice.

Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To sue the chicken for crossing without a permit.

Why was the lawyer’s computer slow?
Too many legal files open.

Why did the lawyer visit art school?
To learn how to draw up cases.

Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek?
Good luck hiding when they’re always looking for a case.

Why did the lawyer go to space?
To find more loopholes.

Why did the lawyer sit on the beach?
He wanted to study the law of the sea.

Why did the lawyer take a vacation?
He needed a brief rest.

Why do lawyers love puzzles?
They’re good at finding missing pieces of evidence.

Why was the lawyer’s phone always ringing?
He had too many cases to handle.

Why did the lawyer go to the party?
To object to the fun.

Why was the lawyer good at baseball?
He knew all the legal pitches.

Why did the lawyer stay calm during the storm?
He knew how to handle cases of turbulence.

Why did the lawyer start a bakery?
He wanted to make lots of dough.

Why did the lawyer love his job?
It was full of arguments.

Why was the lawyer bad at math?
He kept losing interest.

Why did the lawyer study music?
He wanted to learn how to appeal in different tones.

Why did the lawyer smile during traffic court?
He knew how to beat the ticket.

Lawyer Jokes For Lawyers

Why did the lawyer bring a briefcase to the party?
Because he never travels without a case.

Why do lawyers make good friends?
They’re great at defending your side.

Why did the lawyer stay up all night?
He was preparing his dreams for court.

Why did the lawyer cross the playground?
To file a motion on the other slide.

Why did the lawyer go broke?
He lost his appeal.

Why did the lawyer bring coffee to court?
To stay awake through all the objections.

Why do lawyers love to argue?
Because silence doesn’t bill by the hour.

Why was the lawyer afraid of stairs?
Too many cases on different levels.

Why did the lawyer wear sunglasses in court?
His case was too bright to lose.

Why did the lawyer buy a second desk?
He needed another place to rest his briefs.

Why do lawyers never get lost?
They always follow the legal path.

Why did the lawyer get kicked out of yoga class?
He kept objecting to the stretching.

Why was the lawyer great at poker?
He could bluff better than anyone.

Why did the lawyer carry an umbrella?
To cover his legal issues.

Why did the lawyer start gardening?
He wanted to plant evidence.

Why did the lawyer smile at the judge?
He was appealing to authority.

Why did the lawyer write a love letter?
He wanted to make a binding agreement.

Why did the lawyer join a band?
He wanted to practice good legal harmony.

Why was the lawyer always calm?
He never lost his case of nerves.

Why did the lawyer bring a fan to trial?
To blow away the competition.

Why did the lawyer start telling jokes?
He wanted to lighten the case load.

Why did the lawyer walk slowly into court?
He wanted to take it case by case.

Why did the lawyer like cold weather?
It gave him chills of justice.

Why did the lawyer sit near the window?
He wanted to keep things transparent.

Why did the lawyer carry a mirror?
To reflect on his arguments.

Why was the lawyer good at chess?
He always thought three moves ahead.

Why did the lawyer go on vacation?
To get away from all the legal drama.

Why did the lawyer start cooking?
He wanted to learn how to grill witnesses.

Why was the lawyer’s laptop so tired?
Too many open cases.

Why did the lawyer take up painting?
To draw up new contracts.

Why did the lawyer love books?
They were full of precedents.

Why did the lawyer sit under a tree?
He needed some shade from all the courtroom heat.

Why did the lawyer start exercising?
He wanted to strengthen his legal muscles.

One Line Lawyer Jokes

Why do lawyers never play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding from someone who loves finding loopholes.

Why was the lawyer calm during the trial?
Because he had no objections.

Why did the lawyer take a nap at work?
He needed a brief rest.

Why did the lawyer smile after losing?
He still billed for the hours.

Why was the lawyer great at poker?
He always knew when to bluff.

Why did the lawyer take up gardening?
He wanted to plant evidence.

Why do lawyers love coffee?
It keeps them grounded in arguments.

Why did the lawyer cross the street?
To chase the ambulance on the other side.

Why was the lawyer always tired?
Too many briefs to handle.

Why did the lawyer start singing?
He wanted to appeal to the jury.

Why did the lawyer bring a broom?
To sweep the case clean.

Why did the lawyer look happy at work?
He was enjoying billable laughter.

Why did the lawyer open a bakery?
He wanted to make more dough.

Why did the lawyer carry an umbrella?
To protect himself from shady clients.

Why do lawyers love arguments?
It’s in their job description.

Why did the lawyer go broke?
He lost interest in his own case.

Why did the lawyer become an artist?
He was good at drawing conclusions.

Why did the lawyer join the gym?
To strengthen his legal defense.

Why do lawyers make bad magicians?
They can’t make evidence disappear.

Why was the lawyer scared of stairs?
Too many levels of appeal.

Why did the lawyer bring a flashlight to work?
To shed light on the case.

Why did the lawyer sit by the ocean?
He wanted to study the law of waves.

Why do lawyers love puzzles?
They’re all about solving cases.

Why did the lawyer buy new shoes?
To stand his ground better in court.

Why did the lawyer take a mirror to trial?
He wanted to reflect justice.

Why was the lawyer late for court?
He got caught up in a legal jam.

Why do lawyers love elevators?
They always take things to the next level.

Why did the lawyer open a comedy club?
He needed more funny appeals.

Why did the lawyer buy a cat?
He liked things with claws.

Why did the lawyer love rain?
It gave him a good case of mist.

Why did the lawyer sit near the judge?
To stay in good standing.

Why did the lawyer love history?
It was full of past cases.

Why did the lawyer work on weekends?
Because justice never takes a day off.

One Liner Lawyer Jokes

Why did the lawyer bring a suitcase to work?
Because he always carries a case.

Why was the lawyer good at baseball?
He knew how to handle a good pitch.

Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To file a motion on the other side.

Why was the lawyer calm during chaos?
He had everything under legal control.

Why did the lawyer take a ladder to court?
He wanted to reach the higher court.

Why do lawyers love coffee?
It helps them stay grounded in arguments.

Why did the lawyer go to the beach?
To study the law of the sea.

Why did the lawyer smile in traffic court?
He knew how to get out of a jam.

Why did the lawyer take up painting?
He was good at drawing conclusions.

Why did the lawyer go broke?
He lost his appeal.

Why was the lawyer always tired?
Too many briefs to handle.

Why did the lawyer bring a map to trial?
To find the legal route.

Why did the lawyer wear sunglasses in court?
Because his case was too bright.

Why did the lawyer start gardening?
He wanted to plant solid evidence.

Why do lawyers make terrible chefs?
They always over-argue the recipe.

Why did the lawyer carry a flashlight?
To shed light on the truth.

Why was the lawyer so good at puzzles?
He could piece together any case.

Why did the lawyer join a band?
He wanted to practice legal harmony.

Why did the lawyer love chess?
He was great at making legal moves.

Why did the lawyer bring a notebook?
To take statements by the page.

Why did the lawyer open a bakery?
He needed more dough.

Why did the lawyer stay calm in storms?
He could handle any legal turbulence.

Why did the lawyer love books?
They were full of good precedents.

Why did the lawyer go hiking?
He liked taking his cases to new heights.

Why did the lawyer take the elevator?
To reach a higher appeal.

Why did the lawyer start running?
He wanted to chase new cases.

Why did the lawyer buy a mirror?
To reflect on his arguments.

Why did the lawyer take up comedy?
He loved making a strong appeal.

Why did the lawyer sit by the window?
He liked open and shut cases.

Why did the lawyer buy a broom?
To sweep through his work quickly.

Why did the lawyer study weather?
He liked predicting legal storms.

Why did the lawyer go fishing?
To catch a solid case.

Why did the lawyer start singing?
He wanted to appeal to the crowd.

Why did the lawyer love the night shift?
He liked working under legal stars.

Good Lawyer Jokes

Why did the lawyer bring a briefcase to the party?
Because he never travels without a case.

Why did the lawyer go to art school?
To learn how to draw up cases.

Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To sue the chicken for crossing without permission.

Why did the lawyer take a ladder to work?
To reach a higher level of justice.

Why was the lawyer so calm in court?
He had everything under legal control.

Why did the lawyer buy a mirror?
To reflect on his past cases.

Why was the lawyer always tired?
He had too many briefs to handle.

Why did the lawyer become a gardener?
He wanted to plant more evidence.

Why did the lawyer love his job?
He liked making strong arguments.

Why did the lawyer go broke?
He lost his appeal.

Why did the lawyer bring coffee to court?
To stay awake during long trials.

Why do lawyers love arguments?
It’s their favorite sport.

Why did the lawyer open a bakery?
He wanted to make more dough.

Why was the lawyer afraid of stairs?
Too many levels of appeal.

Why did the lawyer carry a ruler to trial?
To measure the strength of his case.

Why did the lawyer visit the beach?
To study the law of the sea.

Why did the lawyer smile after losing a case?
He still got paid.

Why did the lawyer wear sunglasses in court?
Because justice was too bright.

Why did the lawyer start running?
He wanted to chase new cases.

Why did the lawyer take up painting?
He was great at drawing conclusions.

Why did the lawyer buy an umbrella?
To cover his shady clients.

Why did the lawyer become a musician?
He wanted to appeal to a wider audience.

Why did the lawyer sit near the judge?
To stay in good standing.

Why did the lawyer stay up late?
He was working overtime on justice.

Why did the lawyer bring a broom to work?
To sweep through the evidence.

Why was the lawyer great at puzzles?
He could solve any case.

Why did the lawyer go hiking?
He liked to take things to a higher court.

Why did the lawyer love rain?
It gave him more cases to handle.

Why did the lawyer carry a flashlight?
To shine light on the truth.

Why did the lawyer start telling jokes?
He wanted to lighten the case load.

Why did the lawyer go to space?
To find more loopholes.

Why did the lawyer love books?
They were full of legal precedents.

Why did the lawyer take a vacation?
Even justice needs a break.

Why did the lawyer always win at chess?
He knew all the right moves to make a case.

Funniest Lawyer Jokes