Want to beat boredom with some laughs? These Viking jokes are silly, fun, and full of clever humor that will make you laugh. Perfect to share with friends or family for a little Norse-inspired fun!
Table of Contents
Viking Jokes
How do Vikings stay in shape?
By rowing their problems away.
Why did the Viking refuse to play cards?
He didn’t want to deal with a full house.
What do you call a Viking with a cold?
A sniff-leader.
Why did the Viking wear armor to the party?
He wanted to make a smashing entrance.
How do Vikings say goodbye?
“See you in Valhalla!”
What’s a Viking’s favorite instrument?
The battle drum.
Why did the Viking go to school?
To learn how to axe questions.
How do Vikings keep their hair so neat?
With battle combs.
Why don’t Vikings get lost at sea?
They always follow the northern star.
How do Vikings deal with problems?
They raid their problems away.
What did a Viking say when asked for directions?
“Just pillage your way there.”
Do Vikings like to surf?
No, they fjord instead.
What’s a Viking’s favorite exercise?
Shield lifting.
Can you scare a Viking?
Only if you hide his mead.
How do Vikings sleep?
They conquer dreams instead.
What multitasking skill did Vikings invent?
Rowing and raiding at the same time.
What’s a Viking’s favorite type of math?
Long division.
Why shouldn’t you challenge a Viking at chess?
They take every rook.
How do Vikings play hide-and-seek?
They just conquer and find.
What do Vikings drink in the morning?
Mead and oats.
Do Vikings take shortcuts?
No, they take longboats.
What’s a Viking’s favorite game?
Risk… and then more risk.
Are Vikings afraid of storms?
No, they call it dramatic weather.
What’s a Viking’s favorite mode of transportation?
Longboats, obviously.
How do Vikings argue?
They axe questions.
Why did the Viking bring a notebook to battle?
To take note of his victories.
How do Vikings handle worries?
They pillage first, think later.
What’s a Viking’s favorite holiday?
Anything with a feast and fire.
How do Vikings speak in public?
They don’t whisper they roar.
Do Vikings do yoga?
No, they do “shield stretches.”
Do Vikings watch horror movies?
No, they live them.
What’s a Viking’s favorite type of music?
Battle metal.
Do Vikings keep diaries?
No, they write sagas.
Should you invite a Viking to a quiet library?
No, they bring the horn.
Minnesota Viking Jokes
Why did the Minnesota Viking bring a ladder to the game?
He wanted to reach higher on the field!
How do Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders stay fit?
By running from fans and dodging players!
Why did the Minnesota Viking not play hide-and-seek?
He didn’t want to get tackled!
What’s a Minnesota Viking’s favorite music?
Heavy metal, like their defense.
Why did the Minnesota Viking bring a pencil to practice?
To draw the best plays!
How do Minnesota Vikings celebrate a win?
With a horn of mead and a big “Skol!”
Why did the Minnesota Viking sit at the computer?
To check his stats online.
How do Minnesota Vikings stay cool in the stadium?
They stand near the fans they’re always hot!
What do you call a Minnesota Viking with no helmet?
A target.
Why did the Minnesota Viking go to school?
To get faster with his axe moves.
Do the Minnesota Vikings fumble often?
No, they just give the ball as a gift.
Do Vikings fans cry after a loss?
No, they just do the wave… alone.
How is the Minnesota Vikings defense?
All bark, sometimes no bite.
What’s a Viking fan’s motto?
“Skol until the cows come home.”
What do the Minnesota Vikings prove every season?
That hope beats logic.
Do the Minnesota Vikings need GPS?
No, they always find the end zone… eventually.
What do Vikings fans know well?
Patience is a very long virtue.
What’s a Minnesota Viking’s favorite exercise?
Running the scoreboard up.
How good are Vikings at winning?
They’re the masters of almost winning.
What is one thing the Minnesota Vikings always have?
Heart.
Do the Minnesota Vikings play chess?
No, they play football with strategy… sometimes.
What’s a Viking’s favorite holiday?
Playoff season!
How do Minnesota Vikings fans handle losses?
They don’t complain they just cheer louder.
How do Vikings react to setbacks?
They don’t throw tantrums they throw Hail Marys.
What do the Minnesota Vikings teach fans every Sunday?
How to hope.
What’s a Viking’s favorite drink?
Purple Gatorade.
Do Vikings ever retreat?
No, they move smartly.
What are the Minnesota Vikings famous for?
Dramatic finishes.
What’s a Viking’s favorite game?
Scoring touchdowns!
How do the Minnesota Vikings bring fans together?
Sometimes with tears.
How do the Minnesota Vikings perform in a game?
They always “Skol” the show.
Should you mess with a Minnesota Viking?
No, they’ll sack your dreams.
Are Vikings fans ever cold?
No, they’re frozen with excitement.
Where does hope meet a Hail Mary?
With the Minnesota Vikings.
How much effort do the Minnesota Vikings give?
Always a “field goal” of effort.
Viking Jokes One Liners
Vikings don’t run they just raid!
A Viking’s favorite dessert?
Pie with mead.
Vikings don’t need maps they follow the stars.
Vikings don’t gossip they take stories.
A Viking’s favorite game?
Risk.
Vikings don’t argue they just ask.
What do Vikings drink in the morning?
Mead and oats.
Vikings don’t take shortcuts they use longboats.
A Viking’s favorite exercise?
Lifting shields.
Vikings don’t do yoga they do “Valhalla stretches.”
Don’t play chess with a Viking they take all the rooks.
Vikings don’t whisper they shout.
A Viking’s favorite transport?
Longboats.
Vikings don’t watch scary movies they live them.
A Viking’s favorite music?
Battle metal.
Vikings don’t write diaries they write sagas.
A Viking’s favorite holiday?
Feast day.
Vikings don’t sleep they dream about raids.
Vikings are good at multitasking rowing and raiding.
Vikings aren’t afraid of storms they call it drama.
A Viking always wins eventually.
Never underestimate a Viking they have hidden axes.
Vikings don’t need GPS they follow their instincts.
A Viking’s favorite sport?
Shield wrestling.
Vikings don’t cry they fight their feelings.
The Viking way raid first, think later.
Vikings don’t get lost they explore.
What scares a Viking most?
Running out of mead.
Vikings don’t retire they sail into stories.
A Viking’s favorite snack?
Pretzels shaped like horns.
Vikings don’t eat fast food they raid it.
A polite Viking is called a thank-sailer.
Vikings don’t text they send battle signals.
A Viking’s motto: Raid first, nap later.
Vikings don’t wait they charge ahead.
Viking Jokes For Adults
Why did the Viking bring a flask to battle?
Even warriors need a little drink.
How do Vikings relax after fighting?
With a hot bath of ale and a sauna.
Why did the Viking break up with his shield?
It was too clingy.
How do Vikings pick up someone at a bar?
“Want to raid my heart tonight?”
Why did the Viking get kicked out of the tavern?
He asked for a drink… too literally.
What do Vikings say after a wild party?
“Valhalla yeah!”
Why did the Viking bring a sword to the bedroom?
To protect his ego.
How do Vikings deal with a bad date?
They just leave and pillage.
What’s a Viking’s favorite drink?
Blood and thunder… or just mead.
Why did the Viking put a mirror in his house?
To look at his scars… and abs.
How do Vikings deal with problems?
They drink their problems away.
What’s a Viking’s pickup line?
“You raid my heart.”
How do Vikings flirt?
They don’t they conquer.
What do Vikings like more than mead?
Trouble.
What’s a Viking’s favorite position?
First at the buffet.
Do Vikings get hangovers?
No, they call them battle wounds.
What’s a Viking’s multitasking skill?
Drinking mead and arguing at the same time.
How do Vikings send messages?
They don’t sext they send smoke signals.
What’s a Viking’s favorite bedtime story?
“How I pillaged your village.”
Do Vikings need Netflix?
No, they live in epic stories.
What’s a Viking’s favorite gym move?
Lifting axes.
How do Vikings deal with people disappearing?
They don’t ghost they raid.
What’s the Viking motto?
“Eat, drink, pillage, repeat.”
Do Vikings play hard to get?
No, they play hard to raid.
How do Vikings relax?
Sauna and ale.
Do Vikings need dating apps?
No, they have horns.
What’s a Viking’s favorite exercise?
Running from work.
How do Vikings do small talk?
They don’t they talk about conquests.
What’s a Viking’s favorite dessert?
Mead chocolate.
How do Vikings whisper sweet words?
They don’t they roar them.
How do Vikings sleep?
They don’t snore they raid dreams.
Should you mess with a Viking?
No, they’ll steal your heart.
How good are Vikings at lifting spirits?
Very they raise both spirits and mead.
What’s a Viking’s party trick?
Axe-celerated flirting.
Do Vikings break hearts?
No, they raid them.
Best Viking Jokes
How do Vikings make friends?
They ask nicely.
Why did the Viking not fight on the ship?
He didn’t want to tip it over.
What’s a Viking’s favorite music?
Heavy metal.
Why did the Viking bring a pencil to practice?
To draw the perfect plan.
How do Vikings celebrate a win?
With a horn of mead and a loud “Skål!”
Why did the Viking sit at the computer?
To check his stats.
How do Vikings stay cool in the stadium?
They stand near the fans they’re hot!
What do you call a Viking without a helmet?
A target.
Why did the Viking go to school?
To get better at using his axe.
Do Vikings run?
No, they raid!
What’s a Viking’s favorite dessert?
Pie with mead.
Do Vikings need maps?
No, they follow the stars.
Do Vikings gossip?
No, they take stories.
What’s a Viking’s favorite game?
Risk.
How do Vikings argue?
They don’t they just ask.
What do Vikings drink in the morning?
Mead and oats.
Do Vikings take shortcuts?
No, they use longboats.
What’s a Viking’s favorite exercise?
Lifting shields.
Do Vikings do yoga?
No, they do “Valhalla stretches.”
Should you play chess with a Viking?
No, they take all the rooks.
How do Vikings speak?
They don’t whisper they roar.
What’s a Viking’s favorite transport?
Longboats.
Do Vikings watch scary movies?
No, they live them.
What’s a Viking’s favorite music?
Battle metal.
Do Vikings write diaries?
No, they write sagas.
What’s a Viking’s favorite holiday?
Feast day.
How do Vikings sleep?
They dream of raids.
How good are Vikings at multitasking?
Very they row and raid at the same time.
Are Vikings afraid of storms?
No, they call it drama.
How do Vikings perform on stage?
They always “Skol” the show.
Should you mess with a Viking?
No, they’ll raid your heart.
How good are Vikings at raising spirits?
Very they lift both spirits and mead.
What’s a Viking’s party trick?
Axe-celerated flirting.
Do Vikings break hearts?
No, they raid them.
