Get ready to laugh with these Windows jokes that’ll have you crashing with laughter! Whether you use a computer every day or just get tired of slow updates, these jokes will make you smile. From funny errors to loading jokes, this collection shows that even Windows problems can be funny. So sit back, relax, and enjoy some tech-filled laughs!
Table of Contents
Windows Jokes
Why does my Windows computer take so long to start?
Because it wants me to make breakfast first.
When Windows says “almost ready,” what does it mean?
It means “come back in an hour.”
Why did my computer ask for an update?
It just wanted some attention.
What happens when I click something on Windows?
It takes a deep breath before deciding.
What’s part of my daily routine now?
Windows crashing again.
What did I do when my computer froze?
I offered it a cup of hot coffee.
How fast are Windows updates?
Slower than a snail in traffic.
What happens when I ask Windows to run?
It starts crawling instead.
What does Windows mean by “Working on it”?
It means “Don’t expect it soon.”
What’s the blue screen really saying?
“I quit for today.”
What does it mean when my computer doesn’t respond?
It’s just ignoring me again.
What happens when I press “Restart”?
Windows begins a whole new life.
How long do Windows updates take?
Long enough for me to say, “See you next week.”
Does Windows have problems?
No, it just creates chances to restart.
What happens when I tell Windows to shut down?
It spends hours thinking about it.
What did my computer say when it found an error?
“Welcome to the club.”
Why does Windows always ask if I’m sure?
Because even it doesn’t trust me anymore.
Why is my laptop “preparing Windows”?
Maybe it’s working as a chef.
What does every Windows update feel like?
Like it’s building a new planet.
What happened when I tried to open a file?
Windows went into meditation mode.
What freezes more than ice cream?
My Windows PC.
What does “Don’t turn off your computer” really mean?
“You’re stuck here for hours.”
Does my computer take breaks?
Yes it just doesn’t tell me first.
What’s the funniest thing Windows says?
“Running smoothly.”
What happens when I click “Help”?
Windows asks for help too.
Why does my PC say “Restart required”?
Because it needs therapy.
What happens after I fix one issue?
Windows finds two new ones.
What sport does my computer play best?
“Not Responding.”
Does Windows crash anymore?
No, now it just gives up quietly.
What does “Loading” actually mean?
It means “Sleeping.”
Why did Windows tell me to save my work?
Because it knew something bad was coming.
How fast does Windows open things?
Eventually on its own time.
Why do I clap after an update finishes?
Because it’s a miracle.
Who takes longer to wake up me or Windows?
Definitely Windows.
What did Windows teach me instead of speed?
Patience.
Microsoft Windows Jokes
Why does my Windows laptop take so long to start?
Because I could finish a nap before it’s ready.
What did Windows say when I turned it on?
It said “please wait,” but never mentioned for how long.
What happens when I click something once?
Windows keeps thinking about it forever.
What do I do when Windows freezes?
I just stare back until one of us gives up.
What did my computer mean by “installing updates”?
It’s probably just daydreaming again.
What does Windows say it’s fixing?
Bugs but maybe it should start with itself.
What happened when I told Windows to restart?
It took that as a challenge.
What is my PC “getting things ready” for?
Maybe a marathon.
How fast does Windows move?
Slower than my phone from 2010.
What happens when I click “shut down”?
Windows takes a very long goodbye.
What do I feel when I see “Not Responding”?
Like I’m talking to a wall.
What did I do during my last Windows update?
I grew a new hobby.
What should the blue screen really say?
“Surprise!”
What is Windows really updating?
Excuses, not system files.
What freezes more than ice cubes?
My laptop.
What does Windows mean by “almost done”?
It’s been saying that for years.
What happened when I tried to open a folder?
Windows needed a coffee first.
Why does my computer run Windows?
Because it needs a window of time to catch up.
What happens when I ask Windows for help?
It opens another problem.
What does “Restart required” mean to me?
That my day is officially over.
Does my PC crash anymore?
No, now it just quietly gives up.
What do Windows updates feel like?
Like they’re building a rocket, not fixing a laptop.
What did my computer say about memory?
“Low memory,” and I said, “Same problem, buddy.”
How does Windows clean up?
With a very tiny broom.
What happened when I clicked “refresh”?
Windows just stared back at me.
Why did I lose my patience?
Because my laptop said “loading,” and kept me waiting.
What does Windows mean by optimizing?
It’s actually just napping.
How does my computer start up?
Fine until it remembers it’s running Windows.
What happens every time Windows says “ready”?
Something stops working.
What did Windows do when I tried to open a file?
It went on a break.
How long has my PC been checking for updates?
For eternity.
What kind of friend is Windows?
A slow one that always says, “Give me a minute.”
Why doesn’t my laptop need antivirus?
Because Windows errors scare everyone away.
What happened when Windows asked for feedback?
I sent a deep sigh.
When did my computer finish updating?
Right when I stopped needing it.
Best Windows Jokes
Why does my Windows PC start so slowly?
Because it’s slower than my morning brain.
What happened when Windows said “Please wait”?
I started aging.
How does my computer handle updates?
Like it’s training for a marathon.
What do I do when Windows stops working?
I stop caring.
What freezes more than a fridge?
My laptop.
What did Windows say when it was almost ready?
Still waiting for that moment.
What happened when I clicked something?
Windows started thinking about life.
Why did my PC say “Restart needed”?
Because it’s just lazy.
What did Windows say when installing?
“Installing,” and I said, “So is my patience.”
What does the blue screen feel like?
Windows giving up politely.
What happened when I told Windows to open?
It pretended not to hear me.
Why does my computer take breaks every five minutes?
It calls those breaks “loading.”
What do Windows updates feel like?
Surprise visits from a friend I didn’t invite.
What was my laptop getting ready for?
Probably retirement.
What happened when I tried to delete a file?
Windows simply said, “No.”
What does Windows love to show?
Circles that never end.
What did my computer mean by “Error found”?
I think it found itself.
What did Windows say about improving?
“I’m improving” I’ll believe it when I see it.
What happens when my PC says “Shutting down”?
I wish it would actually do it faster.
What did I do when Windows stopped responding?
I started responding for it.
How long has my laptop been working on updates?
All week.
What freezes along with Windows?
My soul.
What happened when I clicked “Help”?
Windows gave me silence.
What does my computer mean by “Running”?
Crawling slowly.
What’s the biggest lie on my screen?
“Almost done.”
What happened when my laptop said “Restarting”?
It didn’t even ask for permission.
Why does Windows update so often?
Probably just for fun.
What’s my PC’s favorite hobby?
Creating drama every error feels personal.
How does Windows clean up?
With a spoon, apparently.
What does my computer do when I need it most?
Takes a long nap.
What moves slower than traffic in rain?
The Windows loading bar.
What happened when I clicked “refresh”?
Windows took a nap instead.
What did my PC say about memory?
“Low memory.” I said, “Same problem.”
What did Windows mean by “New features added”?
Nothing I couldn’t find any.
What did my laptop say when it was ready?
“Ready.” Still not sure for what.
Apple Windows Jokes
Why does my Windows PC update every day?
Because my Apple friend is too busy updating his budget.
What does Apple say?
“Think different.”
What does Windows say?
“Please wait.”
Whose laptop looks fancy?
My friend’s Mac. Mine just works hard for a living.
What does Windows ask for?
Restarts.
What does Apple ask for?
Paychecks.
What happened to my laptop?
It froze again my friend’s Mac just overheated instead.
What do Apple users brag about?
Design.
What do Windows users brag about?
Fixing errors.
What does Windows love?
Updates.
What does Apple love?
Adapters.
What did my Mac friend say?
“It’s perfect.”
What did I say?
“So is the price.”
Who gives errors for free?
Windows. Apple charges extra for those.
What did Apple say about security?
“It’s secure.”
What did Windows reply?
“At least I’m honest.”
Whose computer starts faster?
My friend’s Mac. My Windows finishes slow but steady.
What’s missing from Apple?
A bite.
What’s missing from Windows?
Patience.
What did my PC say?
“Restart now.”
What did my Mac friend say?
“Replace soon.”
What does Apple sell?
Magic.
What does Windows sell?
Reality.
What did my Mac friend say about his computer?
“It’s smooth.”
What did I say?
“It’s expensive lotion.”
What does Apple give?
Style.
What does Windows give?
Survival.
What crashed today?
My Windows.
What else crashed?
My Mac friend’s attitude.
What did Apple say?
“Upgrade.”
What did Windows say?
“Maybe later.”
What did my friend show off?
His MacBook.
What did I show?
My grocery bill.
Which one loads slow?
Windows.
Which one empties wallets fast?
Apple.
What did my PC say?
“Error.”
What did my Mac say?
“Buy the new model.”
What does Apple make look smart?
Silence.
What does Windows make look sad?
Sound.
What did my friend say about Macs freezing?
“They don’t.”
What did I say?
“They just melt.”
What does Apple call it?
Design.
What does Windows call it?
A button.
What does my Windows have?
Updates.
What does my Mac have?
Attitude.
What does Apple say?
“Simple.”
What does Windows say?
“Working on it.”
What restarts more often?
My PC my Mac friend just restarts his ego.
What did Apple claim?
“It’s user-friendly.”
What did Windows reply?
“It’s real-life friendly.”
How long did my laptop take to open?
Five minutes.
How long did my friend’s Mac take to pay off?
Five paychecks.
What does Apple keep closed?
Everything.
What does Windows keep doing?
Crashing.
What did my Mac friend say?
“No viruses.”
What did I say?
“Just high prices.”
What does Windows say?
“Fixing bugs.”
What does Apple say?
“Releasing new colors.”
What happened when my computer broke?
My Mac friend said, “Just buy ours.”
What does Windows ask me to do?
Wait.
What does Apple ask me to do?
Pay.
What did my PC say?
“Welcome.”
What did my Mac friend say?
“Good luck.”
Windows Jokes One Liners
My Windows computer starts slower than sunrise.
Windows told me to wait, so I grew older.
My laptop stops working right when I need it most.
Windows says “Loading,” but I think it’s sleeping.
My PC freezes more often than my fridge.
I clicked “Open,” and Windows started to panic.
Windows updates take longer than my weekend plans.
My computer said “Not responding.” I said, “Neither am I.”
Windows restarts more often than my internet.
My laptop said “Almost done.” It lied again.
Windows calls it an error; I call it a habit.
My computer works fine until I touch it.
Windows said “Don’t turn off.” I turned off my hopes instead.
My PC updates so much, I think it’s building something big.
Windows said “System busy.” I said, “Join the club.”
My laptop loves freezing more than running.
Windows said “Fixing problems.” I didn’t believe it.
My computer updates more often than my phone charges.
Windows loves showing progress bars that never move.
My PC said “Restart now.” I said, “After my coffee.”
Windows updates remind me that patience is free.
My computer said “Preparing Windows.” I hope it’s worth the wait.
Windows said “Running smoothly.” That was the joke.
My PC said “Error.” I said, “Story of my life.”
Windows restarts itself more than I restart my goals.
My laptop froze again maybe it likes cold weather.
Windows told me “Something went wrong.” That’s its favorite line.
My computer said “Low battery.” Same energy as me at work.
Windows updates feel longer than school holidays.
I clicked “Help,” and Windows disappeared quietly.
My PC said “Working on updates.” I said, “Good luck.”
Windows crashes softly, like it doesn’t want to be blamed.
My computer loads forever but never arrives.
Windows said “Ready to go.” I said, “We’ll see.”
My laptop said “Goodbye.” It’s still turning off.
