Want a good laugh? You’re in the right place! Hippos might be big and serious-looking, but when it comes to jokes, they’re super funny. These hippo jokes and puns will definitely make a big splash of laughter. Perfect for kids, friends, or anyone who needs a smile, these silly hippo jokes are sure to brighten your day.
Table of Contents
Hippo Jokes
Why don’t hippos eat fast food?
Because it swims away too quickly!
What do you call a hippo who loves stories?
A hippo with a tall tale.
Why couldn’t the hippo stay in the band?
He made every note too heavy.
What kind of music do hippos dance to?
Hip-hop, of course.
Why was the hippo never upset?
Because he stayed cool as a puddle.
Why did the hippo wear a snorkel at the party?
He wanted to dive into the punch.
How do hippos say hello?
“Hippo there!”
Why did the hippo start a bakery?
He was great at making rolls.
What’s a hippo’s favorite game?
Hungry Hungry People.
Why was the hippo always late?
Because he walked at hippo-speed.
What do you call a hippo who plays guitar?
A rock-o-potamus.
Why don’t hippos get lost in rivers?
They always go with the flow.
What do hippos write in their journals?
“Dear river, today was splashy.”
Why was the hippo a bad comedian?
His jokes sank too hard.
What did the hippo say about his new shoes?
“They’re pond-erful!”
Why don’t hippos skydive?
The ground might give up.
What’s a hippo’s favorite sport?
Rowing no one benches them.
Why did the hippo join debate class?
He liked making big points.
How do hippos text?
With lots of smiley hippo faces.
Why did the hippo sit under a tree?
He was waiting for some shade.
What’s a hippo’s favorite sandwich?
A submarine.
Why did the hippo wear shades?
So no one spotted him at the zoo.
What did the hippo say to the frog?
“You jump, I’ll swim.”
Why don’t hippos use elevators?
They prefer the next level.
What do you call a polite hippo?
A hippo with manners.
Why was the hippo always on the phone?
He liked a clear line.
How do hippos work out?
They splash-dance in the river.
Why can’t hippos keep secrets?
They spill everything.
What do you call a hippo in space?
An astro-potamus.
Why was the hippo so clever?
Because he soaked up knowledge.
How do hippos buy things?
With hippo-coins.
Why did the hippo carry a backpack?
For his hippo-stuff.
What do you call a hippo detective?
Inspector Hippo.
Why did the hippo laugh at math jokes?
Because numbers made a big splash.
Hippo Jokes One Liners
Hippos don’t run fast, they just wiggle really quickly.
A hippo’s diet is called “eat everything in the water.”
Hippos were the first to do belly flops.
A hippo in sunglasses is just hiding from the zoo visitors.
Hippos laugh the most at splash jokes.
When a hippo sneezes, the river shakes.
Hippos don’t lift weights, they lift mud.
A hippo’s dance move is called the “big splash.”
Hungry hippos never skip meals.
Hippos think puddles are luxury pools.
A hippo’s map always points to water.
Hippos love extra-wide airplane seats.
When hippos fight, it’s always heavyweight.
A hippo selfie must include a river.
Hippos don’t count calories, they count snacks.
A hippo’s morning alarm is sunshine.
Hippos nap better than crocodiles.
Hippos tell time by splashes.
A hippo’s year has only two days: wet and wetter.
Hippos don’t run races, they float them.
A hippo’s favorite smell is “fresh mud.”
Hippos don’t do yoga, they do “pond pose.”
Hippo parties always end with a big splash.
Hippos don’t whisper, they roar like rivers.
A hippo’s handshake is always wet.
Towels are useless for hippos.
A hippo’s internet works best near water.
Hippos don’t wear watches, they follow ripples.
A hippo’s wallet is always soggy.
Hippos don’t keep secrets, they bubble them out.
Hippos say mud is their best buddy.
Hippos think boats are noisy neighbors.
A hippo vacation means staying in the river.
Hippos never have messy hair, just wet hair.
A hippo’s rule: when unsure, splash it more.
Funny Hippo Jokes
Why don’t hippos like homework?
Because they’d rather splash than study.
What do you call a hippo playing piano?
A hippo with big keys.
Why did the hippo sit on the laptop?
He wanted to trap the mouse.
What’s a hippo’s favorite workout?
Lifting snacks.
Why did the hippo bring a ladder?
He wanted to move up the food chain.
What do you call a hippo in a tie?
A fancy-potamus.
Why was the hippo a good swimmer?
Because floating comes easy to him.
What did the hippo say to the mirror?
“Looking good, big guy.”
Why did the hippo go to a comedy show?
He wanted a big laugh.
What do you call a hippo that sings rap?
Hippo-hop.
Why don’t hippos send letters?
Their writing is too messy.
What dessert do hippos love?
Mud pie.
Why did the hippo plant potatoes?
Because he liked hippo-tatoes.
What do you call a hippo that solves crimes?
Detective Hippo.
Why did the hippo cross the river?
To show he wasn’t scared.
What’s a hippo’s favorite school subject?
His-story.
Why was the hippo always calm?
Because nothing bothered his pond.
What do you call a hippo in space?
Astro-potamus.
Why was the hippo always at the front?
Because nobody argued with him.
What did the hippo say when he was cold?
“I need a scarf this big!”
Why don’t hippos get lost?
They follow the water.
What drink do hippos like best?
Swamp shakes.
Why was the hippo bad at basketball?
He kept dribbling in the wrong way.
What movie do hippos enjoy?
Splash Wars.
Why did the hippo go to class?
To learn new hippo words.
What do you call a juggling hippo?
A skill-o-potamus.
Why was the hippo bad at hide-and-seek?
He always left ripples.
What game do hippos love?
River-opoly.
Why did the hippo carry an umbrella?
For splashy rain.
What do you call a polite hippo?
Hippo-nice.
Why don’t hippos use phones?
Their hands are too wet.
Where do hippos go on vacation?
Big lakes.
Why did the hippo start a bakery?
Because he kneaded dough.
What do hippos do when bored?
They make waves.
Why was the hippo smiling all day?
Because his pond was perfect.
Hippo Jokes And Riddles
Why don’t hippos play cards in the water?
Because the fish mix them up.
Why was the hippo good at school?
Because he remembered everything.
What did the hippo say to the crocodile at lunch?
“Don’t snap, I’m still chewing!”
What do you call a hippo that juggles fruit?
A circus hippo.
Why did the hippo sit near the printer?
He liked the paper jam.
What has four legs, loves mud, and makes boats sink?
A hippo running fast.
Why don’t hippos get sunburn?
Because they cover themselves in mud.
What do you call a hippo who sings loudly?
An opera-potamus.
Why was the hippo scared of the calendar?
Because the days were running out.
What’s big, gray, and tells stories at night?
A bedtime hippo.
Why did the hippo cross the playground?
To try the slide.
What did the frog say to the hippo?
“You swim, I’ll hop.”
What holiday do hippos love?
Splash-giving.
Why was the hippo’s report card wet?
He studied in the water.
What has teeth but never bites, and hippos use it?
A toothbrush.
Why don’t hippos play hide-and-seek?
They leave ripples.
What’s gray, big, and loves riddles?
A puzzle-potamus.
Why did the hippo bring a light?
Because it was dark at the pond.
What is heavy, gray, and hops like a bunny?
A hippo on Easter.
Why did the hippo go to the library?
To read river stories.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
Why was the hippo laughing?
Because he was so bubbly.
What’s gray, huge, and sings in the shower?
A karaoke hippo.
Why did the hippo bring a backpack?
For his pond stuff.
What’s round, big, and loves cake?
A birthday hippo.
Why did the hippo take art class?
To learn how to draw water.
What’s gray, strong, and asks riddles?
A quiz-potamus.
Why was the hippo late to the party?
He floated down the slow stream.
What goes up but never comes down?
A hippo’s age.
Why did the hippo join music class?
To learn hippo-notes.
What’s big, heavy, and full of jokes?
A comedy hippo.
Why was the hippo popular?
Because he always made a splash.
What’s gray, muddy, and smiles a lot?
A happy hippo.
Why did the hippo carry a notebook?
To write pond ideas.
Hippo Puns
I feel hippo-happy today.
Don’t be hippo-bossy.
That’s hippo-silly!
She’s hippo-awesome.
I’m hippo-proud of you.
Stay hippo-happy!
That was hippo-funny.
We lived hippo-ever after.
He’s hippo-mysterious online.
This party is hippo-great.
I’m hippo-funny when I try.
Don’t hippo-wait to ask.
That’s hippo-best of all.
She looked hippo-pretty.
I’m hippo-charmed by you.
That’s hippo-strong power.
He’s hippo-great at swimming.
I hippo-sorry for being late.
You’re hippo-amazing!
I’m hippo-happy to meet you.
Let’s make hippo-fun memories.
That’s hippo-good news!
I’m hippo-excited for the trip.
He’s hippo-famous here.
You’re hippo-yummy!
That story was hippo-cool.
Don’t make hippo-guesses.
She’s a hippo-winner.
This cake is hippo-yum.
He’s hippo-funny with jokes.
I’m hippo-crazy about this song.
That’s hippo-smart!
You’re hippo-special to me.
This game is hippo-fun.
Life feels hippo-perfect near water.
Hippo Puns One Liners
I’m hippo-happy to see you!
Don’t be hippo-upset, it’s okay.
That plan is hippo-smart.
You make me hippo-smile.
She’s hippo-nice and kind.
I feel hippo-strong today.
This cake is hippo-yummy.
I’m hippo-thankful for friends.
He’s hippo-calm in trouble.
That story was hippo-crazy.
You’re hippo-great at dancing.
I’m hippo-thankful for your help.
This show is hippo-fun.
She’s hippo-good at singing.
That joke was hippo-funny.
He gave a hippo-big smile.
I’m hippo-inspired by you.
This trip feels hippo-awesome.
You’re hippo-kind to all.
That sunset is hippo-pretty.
He’s hippo-ready for anything.
I’m hippo-lucky to know you.
This party is hippo-great!
That goal was hippo-strong.
You’re hippo-bright like the sun.
She’s hippo-friendly every day.
I’m hippo-excited for the weekend.
This ice cream is hippo-delicious.
That idea is hippo-clever.
He’s hippo-famous at school.
I’m hippo-relaxed by the pond.
Your kindness is hippo-special.
This game is hippo-fun.
I’m hippo-happy today.
Life is hippo-perfect with friends.
