A good laugh can help you relax, and these jokes are just what you need! These neck jokes and puns are full of silly wordplay and easy humor that will give you a good stretch of laughter. Perfect for sharing with friends or enjoying on your own, they’ll keep you smiling from ear to ear.
Table of Contents
Neck Jokes
My neck told me a joke, it was a real pain.
I wore a turtleneck, but it nearly choked me.
My neck likes to stretch the truth.
A scarf said, “Don’t worry neck, I’ll keep you warm.”
My neck started a music group called The Spine Guys.
I argued with my neck, but I had to swallow my pride.
My neck hates roller coasters, they twist too much.
The doctor said my neck was too far out of line.
My neck always sticks into other people’s business.
They told me to look ahead, but my neck kept turning.
My neck graduated with high-collar honors.
My neck gets lazy, it doesn’t want to hold my head.
My neck doesn’t gamble, but it always takes chances.
I told my neck to relax, it just shrugged.
My neck loves fashion, it has great collar sense.
When I eat too fast, my neck complains.
My neck hides under scarves when it’s shy.
If life’s a climb, my neck is stuck in the middle.
My neck opened a noodle shop, it loves long pasta.
When my neck gets stiff, I call it a joint issue.
My neck wants fame, it’s tired of being in the background.
My neck tried comedy, but it couldn’t handle being the headliner.
People say I’m level-headed, thanks to my neck.
My neck tried yoga, now it’s just twisted differently.
Necklaces are just hugs for the neck.
My neck works as security, it’s always watching.
My neck is stubborn, it won’t bend under pressure.
My neck is funny, it always cracks at the right time.
I told my neck a secret, it nodded back.
My neck joined choir, it’s good at holding notes.
My neck and head fight a lot, but they stay together.
My neck complains about carrying too much weight.
My neck’s favorite holiday is Tie-mas.
The neck is like the middle child, between the head and the heart.
My neck loves scary movies, it enjoys a good spine-chill.
Red Neck Jokes
You’re a redneck if your family tree looks more like a circle.
A redneck workout is just lifting the cooler lid.
Your wedding photos include fishing gear, you might be a redneck.
A redneck GPS says, “Turn left by the old tractor.”
Redneck air conditioning is rolling the truck window down.
A redneck dishwasher is kids with a garden hose.
If the backyard has more cars than the driveway, you’re a redneck.
A redneck alarm clock is a rooster or a loud truck.
Redneck recycling is turning tires into swings.
If your toolbox is also your dinner table, you’re a redneck.
A redneck yard sale is just stuff left outside.
If duct tape fixes everything, you’re a redneck.
A redneck password is always beer123.
A redneck speed bump is the dog lying in the road.
If your bathtub is a fishing spot, you’re a redneck.
A redneck TV stand is bricks and boards.
A redneck living room is a couch on the porch.
A redneck candle is bug spray on fire.
A redneck credit card is borrowing your cousin’s cash.
If your fridge is an ice chest on wheels, you’re a redneck.
A redneck smoke alarm is someone yelling, “It’s burning!”
If your truck costs more than your house, you’re a redneck.
A redneck laptop is a notebook with beer stains.
If Christmas lights are still up in July, you’re a redneck.
Redneck security is two dogs and a shotgun.
If your mailbox is just a bucket on a stick, you’re a redneck.
A redneck charger is swapping batteries.
If your pool is a cattle trough, you’re a redneck.
A redneck lawnmower is a goat in the yard.
If your ceiling fan is a box fan on a rope, you’re a redneck.
Redneck coffee is water with old coffee grounds.
If your wedding rings came from a pawn shop, you’re a redneck.
Redneck fun is watching lightning bugs with a beer.
If your house has wheels but your truck doesn’t, you’re a redneck.
A redneck hot tub is a barrel with kids making bubbles.
No Neck Jokes
He’s so tough, even his neck didn’t show up.
I saw a guy with no neck, his shirt collar was confused.
With no neck, chokers don’t exist.
He can’t turn his head, so he just spins around.
Turtlenecks turn into turtle shirts for him.
A tie on him goes from chin to chest.
Without a neck, he doesn’t nod, he just shakes.
His photos look like a head sitting on shoulders.
No neck?
At least whiplash won’t happen.
A necklace on him looks like a belt.
When he shrugs, his ears touch his shoulders.
No neck means cheaper haircuts.
He can’t get hickeys, there’s no space.
Doctors can’t check his pulse on the neck.
Scarves don’t work when there’s nowhere to wrap.
At the gym, he looks like a triangle lifting weights.
He sneezes, and his whole body jumps.
Sunglasses slide down into his chest.
He’s so strong, even his neck ran away.
With no neck, he can’t whisper quietly.
On a rollercoaster, he doesn’t need a headrest.
Eating soup is easy, chin to chest in one drop.
He can’t tilt his head, only his whole body.
No neck means no wrinkles but hard shirts.
In hide-and-seek, his shoulders give him away.
Hoodies look like chest blankets on him.
Looking at his phone means chest browsing.
His head rests right on his shoulders, built-in pillow.
In a crowd, he looks like a head on legs.
The chiropractor said, “Nothing to fix here.”
Headphones fall straight to his shoulders.
Bow ties don’t fit, only chest ties.
His best costume is Frankenstein, no makeup needed.
He can’t nod, he just blinks harder.
No neck, no problem, straight from brain to body.
Long Neck Jokes
His neck is so long, when he nods, it takes all day to finish.
With that neck, a scarf feels like a racetrack.
Her neck is so long, she needs binoculars to see her necklace.
His Adam’s apple needs directions, it’s lost on that long neck.
A long neck is like free Wi-Fi, it always reaches farther.
His neck is so long, he needs family-size sunscreen just for it.
She sneezes in the kitchen, but her head says “bless you” in the living room.
His neck is so long, even giraffes ask him for advice.
Every shirt looks too short on a long neck.
His barber charges him double for two neck shaves.
With that neck, he hears gossip from blocks away.
Her neck is so long, she needs two passports, one for her head and one for her body.
His tie looks like a rope ladder on that neck.
His voice echoes before leaving his mouth.
She waves hello before her head even arrives.
He uses a selfie stick just to scratch his neck.
A long neck lets you see tomorrow’s weather early.
Even her shadow looks stretched.
A turtleneck becomes a snake on a long neck.
When he drinks water, it’s like a road trip down his throat.
A long neck lets you touch the clouds first.
His neck is so long, he works like a cell tower.
A haircut takes longer when the neck won’t end.
GPS has to recalculate halfway up his neck.
She can peek over into tomorrow with her neck.
Her necklace needs mile markers to fit.
He nods and gets a nosebleed halfway.
She yawns and the echo comes later.
A scarf for that neck costs more than rent.
His neck is too tall, even elevators give up.
The doctor checks her pulse with a drone.
A shoulder rub takes half a day to finish.
His neck is so long, he needs two ID cards.
When she whispers, it’s late delivery.
Every shirt needs an extension to cover his neck.
No Neck Jokes One Liners
He’s so tough, even his neck gave up.
No neck means ties just fall off.
When he sneezes, his whole body jumps.
A hoodie on him is just a chest cover.
When he shrugs, his ears touch his shoulders.
A necklace on him looks like a belt on his chest.
Every photo of him is just head and shoulders.
Headphones slide right to his shoulders.
He can’t nod, so he just blinks.
A turtleneck on him warms only his chest.
The barber skips the neck shave, no neck there.
He checks his phone by staring at his chest.
No chokers for him, only chin rests.
His tie hangs all the way to his belly.
Scarves don’t fit, nowhere to wrap them.
His head sits on his body like a jar lid.
No neck means no hickeys ever.
His shirt collar keeps looking for a neck.
A bow tie on him turns into a chest tie.
In a crowd, he looks like a floating head.
Sunglasses drop right onto his chest.
The chiropractor said, “Nothing here to fix.”
He can’t whisper, it’s straight from chest to mouth.
The doctor skips his neck and checks his wrist.
No neck means no headrest needed on rides.
When he shrugs, his head disappears.
Necklaces fit him like chest straps.
No neck means no wrinkles but tight shirts.
His favorite costume is Frankenstein.
His head and shoulders are always side by side.
He can’t nod, he just stares.
Hoodie strings on him look like suspenders.
Soup falls straight from chin to chest.
His shoulders work extra hard holding his head.
No neck makes him direct head-to-body Wi-Fi.
Neck Puns
I’m neck-deep in trouble, but still okay.
Don’t stick your neck out for the wrong crowd.
That joke was neck-level funny.
My neck always gets me in a twist.
He’s such a pain in the neck.
Let’s keep our neck-connection strong.
You’re neck-essary in my life.
She made a bold neck-statement.
That story gave me neck chills.
He’s proud of his neck-cellence.
My neck likes to flex its attitude.
I’m trying to neck-connect with old friends.
Don’t neck-underestimate my style.
A scarf is just neck-essary fashion.
I’ve got a neck-habit of cracking jokes.
Stay neck-sational today.
His talent is neck-pressive.
She’s neck-sactly what I needed.
I neck-er thought this would happen.
Solving this is neck-essary.
Neck-up, better days are near.
I live neck-door to greatness.
He makes a neck-tacular entrance.
That laugh was neck-splosive.
My confidence is neck-strong.
She’s neck-ceptional in every way.
Don’t be neck-gative, stay happy.
I’m neck-tremely excited today.
That gift was neck-st to perfect.
He’s neck-known for being kind.
This outfit looks neck-squisite.
I’m neck-joying life right now.
You have neck-st level charm.
My style is neck-ever out of date.
That win felt neck-st to impossible.
