Filipinos love to laugh, and Pinoy jokes are the best way to show it! With simple humor, funny punchlines, and everyday jokes, they bring smiles to everyone. Whether you’re with friends, family, or just want to feel happy, these jokes will make you laugh again and again. Get ready for Pinoy jokes so funny you just can’t stop smiling!
Table of Contents
Pinoy Jokes
Teacher: “Juan, why are you late?”
Juan: “Ma’am, because time moves too fast.”
Doctor: “You should go on a diet.”
Patient: “Doc, can it be cheat day every day?”
Mom: “Where’s your assignment?”
Child: “Ma, my paper lost its signal.”
Boy: “Miss, is your smile free?”
Girl: “It’s free, but with extra charges.”
Juan: “Bro, I had a fever last night.”
Pedro: “Good thing you didn’t get rained on?”
Grandma: “What’s that, a cellphone?”
Grandchild: “Yes, it’s a gadget.”
Grandma: “I thought it was food called gadget?”
Teacher: “Use history in a sentence.”
Student: “My crush is already history in my life.”
Boss: “Why were you absent yesterday?”
Employee: “Boss, I was present… at home.”
Father: “Where did your lunch money come from?”
Child: “From my lunch box, Dad.”
Juan: “I’m on a diet.”
Pedro: “What diet?”
Juan: “Eat rice… three times a day.”
Mom: “Why is your room messy?”
Child: “Ma, it’s minimalist design.”
Juan: “Bro, I got new shoes.”
Pedro: “Where’s it made?”
Juan: “Made for the feet.”
Teacher: “Where’s your paper?”
Student: “Ma’am, this is online class, right?”
Boy: “I love you.”
Girl: “Weak signal, say it again?”
Vendor: “Taho!”
Kid: “Do you accept GCash?”
Grandma: “What’s a selfie?”
Grandchild: “A picture of yourself.”
Grandma: “Then why not lola-fie?”
Teacher: “Use plate in a sentence.”
Student: “Ma’am, I’m plate… just add ‘p’.”
Boy: “Are you free tomorrow?”
Girl: “I’m free, but busy.”
Juan: “It’s so hot, bro?”
Pedro: “Because it’s summer, not winter.”
Child: “Ma, I want a new cellphone.”
Mom: “Me too, child.”
Juan: “I slept early last night.”
Pedro: “What time?”
Juan: “11:59 PM.”
Teacher: “What’s the plural of mouse?”
Student: “Mouses?“
Teacher: “Wrong.”
Student: “But it’s computer mouse… USB type?”
Boy: “Do you want a long walk or short ride?”
Girl: “I want a long life.”
Juan: “I’m heartbroken.”
Pedro: “Buy some glue?”
Mom: “Your assignments are just drawings?”
Child: “Ma, it’s Fine Sleeping Arts course.”
Teacher: “Use fan in a sentence.”
Student: “It’s hot so I fan.”
Grandma: “Your dress is pretty, child.”
Grandchild: “Thanks, Grandma! It’s from thrift shop.”
Grandma: “I thought you said it’s just okay?”
Juan: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Pedro: “Yes… in my imagination.”
Kid: “Dad, what’s your favorite app?”
Father: “Of course, ketchup!”
Boss: “Why are you late?”
Employee: “Boss, I’m early… for tomorrow.”
Mom: “Child, study well.”
Child: “Ma, I’m just practicing to be a rich kid.”
Boy: “Why are you still single?”
Girl: “Because I’m on a duo promo.”
Teacher: “Use egg in a sentence.”
Student: “I don’t have an answer… egg-xactly!”
Grandma: “What’s FB?”
Grandchild: “Facebook.”
Grandma: “I thought it was Face-flowers?”
Juan: “The traffic is crazy.”
Pedro: “That’s not traffic, everyone’s just parked?”
Funny Pinoy Jokes
Teacher: “Juan, why don’t you have homework?”
Juan: “Ma’am, it’s at home… that’s why it’s called homework.”
Boy: “Miss, do you have a boyfriend?”
Girl: “Yes.”
Boy: “Can I be the next one?”
Grandma: “Grandchild, you’re always on your phone.”
Grandchild: “That’s where I talk to everyone.”
Grandma: “What about me, not included?”
Mom: “Why are you late?”
Child: “Mom, I got caught by time.”
Juan: “I have so much debt.”
Pedro: “Me too, so we’re even.”
Customer: “Boss, is anything free?”
Vendor: “Yes, free to look.”
Teacher: “Use banana in a sentence.”
Student: “Banana problem, it’s up to you.”
Boy: “You’re beautiful.”
Girl: “Thanks.”
Boy: “But you’d make a good villain.”
Dad: “Son, why did you fail?”
Son: “Dad, I’m just a simple student.”
Juan: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Pedro: “None, still pending.”
Mom: “Did you eat already?”
Child: “Mom, I’m on a diet.”
Mom: “Diet? We don’t even have food.”
Boss: “Why are you late?”
Employee: “Boss, I came early… for tomorrow.”
Kid: “Dad, why don’t we have a car?”
Dad: “Son, we have feet.”
Boy: “Can I court you?”
Girl: “You can, but I’m busy.”
Grandma: “What’s WiFi?”
Grandchild: “It’s internet.”
Grandma: “I thought it was wise-pipay.”
Juan: “I’m broken-hearted.”
Pedro: “Just restart.”
Teacher: “What’s the past tense of sleep?”
Student: “Slip… because I fell down.”
Vendor: “Taho!”
Kid: “Kuya, do you have sugar-free?”
Mom: “What are you doing?”
Child: “Resting… from nothing yet.”
Boy: “Miss, do I have a chance?”
Girl: “Yes, a chance of rain.”
Teacher: “Why were you absent?”
Student: “But Ma’am, I was present… in your dreams.”
Juan: “Treat me please.”
Pedro: “Only free laughter, food has payment.”
Dad: “Go to sleep now.”
Son: “Dad, I’m already on night mode.”
Boy: “I love you.”
Girl: “Sorry, no signal.”
Mom: “Wash the dishes.”
Child: “Mom, I’m allergic to soap.”
Teacher: “Spell library.”
Student: “L-I-B… just search it on Google.”
Boy: “What’s your type?”
Girl: “Rich guys.”
Boy: “Oh, I’ll pass then.”
Grandma: “Why aren’t you married yet?”
Grandchild: “Grandma, still waiting for a promo.”
Juan: “Exam tomorrow.”
Pedro: “It’s fine, just multiple guessing.”
Mom: “Why did you fail?”
Child: “Mom, blame gravity.”
Boy: “Give me a smile?”
Girl: “Smile? That comes with a fee.”
Teacher: “What’s honesty?”
Student: “If I don’t have phone load, I’ll admit I really don’t.”
Dad: “Help me.”
Son: “Dad, I’m working from bed.”
Juan: “Dude, I’m hungry.”
Pedro: “That’s normal, don’t worry.”
Boy: “Can we be together?”
Girl: “Yes… in your imagination.”
Pinoy Jokes Lines
I’m always late… because I’m just on time for being last.
Free food?
Suddenly, I become hungry.
My phone is low-batt even if I haven’t used it.
My wallet says: “I’m empty but you still love me.”
I’m on a diet today… but back to rice tomorrow.
My alarm clock is louder than my own voice.
I saved money yesterday, that’s why I’m hungry today.
When I’m lazy, I pretend to be busy.
My crush is like WiFi — weak when far away.
My hair is like my love life — always messy.
Exam?
That’s where my multiple guessing skills shine.
Rain, the best friend of people without umbrellas.
Free WiFi?
Suddenly I have many friends.
My shoes are like relationships — sometimes painful.
My diet: eat today, plan tomorrow.
No phone load?
Suddenly the world goes silent.
My selfies look better than the real me.
The heat feels like an ex — exhausting.
My debts keep growing even without a plan.
My crush is like Netflix — needs a subscription.
My new shoes are just for display, not for walking.
Our dining table often only has debts on it.
My “five minutes” equals one hour.
Electricity is like love — expensive.
My salary is like bubbles — disappears fast.
My neighbor knows more about my life than I do.
My allowance vanishes quickly.
My crush always leaves me on “seen.”
My bag is heavy but only has air inside.
Feast?
I automatically become the take-home guy.
My alarm wakes me… so I can sleep again.
My heart is single but promo-ready.
Student life: sleepless, hungry, broke.
The mall is like an ex — I keep visiting even if it’s costly.
My laziness is like WiFi — strongest at home.
Top Pinoy Jokes
Teacher: “Juan, why don’t you have paper?”
Juan: “Ma’am, I’m an online student.”
Boy: “Are you single?”
Girl: “Yes.”
Boy: “Perfect, because I’m double.”
Mom: “Why is your room messy?”
Child: “Ma, that’s my design.”
Pedro: “Juan, why is your hair wet?”
Juan: “I took a shower in the rain, free water.”
Dad: “Where are you going?”
Child: “Dad, to the future.”
Customer: “Is there a discount for this?”
Vendor: “Yes, zero if you have no money.”
Boy: “Can I court you?”
Girl: “You can, but I’m busy.”
Teacher: “Use cellphone in a sentence.”
Student: “It’s your cellphone, but my feelings are mine.”
Grandma: “What’s IG?”
Grandchild: “Instagram.”
Grandma: “I thought it meant I’m-Hungry.”
Boss: “You’re late again.”
Employee: “Boss, I was early for traffic.”
Juan: “Do you already have a love life?”
Pedro: “Yes, only in my imagination.”
Kid: “Ma, I’m hungry.”
Mom: “Me too, let’s just sleep.”
Boy: “Do we have a future together?”
Girl: “No, my schedule is full.”
Teacher: “Use milk in a sentence.”
Student: “I will love you for milk-ever.”
Vendor: “Taho!”
Kid: “Kuya, is there buy 1 take 1?”
Juan: “I had a hard time in the exam.”
Pedro: “Me too, but I’m a champion in guessing.”
Dad: “You don’t have a girlfriend?”
Child: “Dad, my budget is short.”
Girl: “I have something to say.”
Boy: “What?”
Girl: “Nothing, just kidding.”
Mom: “Why don’t you have lunch money?”
Child: “Ma, it’s my empty wallet policy.”
Boy: “I have a crush on you.”
Girl: “Too bad, I don’t like heavy things.”
Teacher: “What’s the plural of fish?”
Student: “More fish, ma’am.”
Pedro: “Why don’t you have shoes?”
Juan: “This is barefoot style.”
Boss: “You were absent yesterday.”
Employee: “Boss, I was present in sleep.”
Boy: “Can we go on a date?”
Girl: “Sure, on February 31.”
Dad: “What’s your assignment?”
Child: “Assignment of blame, Dad.”
Girl: “What are you doing?”
Boy: “Practicing to be handsome.”
Grandma: “What’s TikTok?”
Grandchild: “It’s online dancing.”
Grandma: “Then why not TikTak?”
Juan: “Traffic is so bad.”
Pedro: “Like my love life — no movement.”
Teacher: “Use heart in a sentence.”
Student: “My heart is under repair.”
Mom: “Clean the house.”
Child: “Ma, I’m a minimalist.”
Boy: “Are you free tomorrow?”
Girl: “I’m free, but there’s a charge.”
Boss: “Do overtime.”
Employee: “Boss, I’m already over-tired.”
Dad: “Where does your allowance come from?”
Child: “From my imagination, Dad.”
Juan: “I want to be an astronaut.”
Pedro: “Why?”
Juan: “So I can have space.”
Teacher: “Use candle in a sentence.”
Student: “Without you, I can’t-dle it.”
Pinoy Jokes Logic
If crossing is not allowed, why is there a road?
If noise is not allowed, why is there a karaoke microphone?
If electricity is expensive, why are the lights still on every night?
If copying is not allowed, why are tests multiple choice?
If being late is not allowed, why does the alarm have snooze?
If going out is not allowed, why is there a gate?
If texting in class is not allowed, why is there signal inside?
If borrowing is not allowed, why does Aling Nena have a store?
If resting is not allowed, why are there chairs in the office?
If gossiping is not allowed, why is my neighbor always updated?
If going out at night is not allowed, why are there streetlights?
If eating “forbidden” food is not allowed, why does it taste so good?
If sleeping in school is not allowed, why are the chairs like beds?
If courting is not allowed, why do we feel butterflies?
If being absent is not allowed, why is there an attendance sheet?
If being late is not allowed, why is there a gate pass?
If Facebook is not allowed, why is there office WiFi?
If beach outing is not allowed, why is there a sea?
If soft drinks are not allowed, why are there so many promos?
If giving up is not allowed, why is there a white flag?
If boredom is not allowed, why are there long lines in the bank?
If loitering is not allowed, why is there a waiting shed?
If being stingy is not allowed, why are there discount cards?
If crying is not allowed, why is there tissue?
If cellphones are not allowed in class, why is the teacher texting?
If teasing is not allowed, why do we have knock-knock jokes?
If boys can’t have long hair, why is there shampoo in the bathroom?
If noise is not allowed, why is there a school bell?
If resting is not allowed, why do we have weekends?
If cold relationships are not allowed, why is there aircon?
If coffee is not allowed, why is there 3-in-1?
If drama is not allowed, why are there teleseryes every night?
If being stingy is not allowed, why are there promo codes?
If being sentimental is not allowed, why are there hugot lines?
If stress is not allowed, why is there a boss?
